The Most Stable Relationship
I believed my fiction,/
That the most stable relationship is my addiction./
“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to SIN, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?”
(Romans 6:16, NIV)
What comes to mind when you think of stability?
Most people imagine something dependable… steady… constant. But sometimes the things we cling to for stability are the very things that keep us stuck.
Once in a therapy session, we were talking about addiction—the false truth it gives. The reason we run back to it is that, sadly, it’s often the most stable relationship we have. It’s reliable. Reliable for numbing the pain. Reliable to help us escape reality for a fleeting moment. But as soon as the high fades, the waves come crashing back, and we’re soaked in regret.
That’s the trap of addiction—it promises comfort, but delivers chains.
The word addict comes from the Latin addicere, meaning to give over, to surrender, to devote.
In Roman courts, if someone couldn’t pay their debts, they would be addicted — legally handed over to their creditor, bound to serve until the debt was satisfied. Addiction has always been about surrender: being owned by something that promises to hold you, but instead enslaves you.
Greek Word Spotlight — “Offer” (Romans 6:16)
The word “offer yourselves” comes from the Greek παριστάνω / παρίστημι (paristēmi).
It means:
to present
to yield
to place beside
to stand ready for someone’s use
to put yourself at someone’s disposal
Paul isn’t talking about a single action. He’s talking about allegiance.
Paristēmi was used in legal, military, and temple contexts to mean:
“Here I am — command me.”
So Paul’s point is deeply relational:
Whoever you stand beside becomes your master.
Addiction works the same way — we keep presenting ourselves to it, and it forms us.
This ties perfectly to addicere — giving yourself over.
Paul understood this deeply. He spoke of SIN not just as bad choices, but as a power—a master that enslaves, a ruler that demands wages.
“SIN reigned in death” (Romans 5:21).
“I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to SIN” (Romans 7:14).
“You are slaves of the one you obey… You have been set free from SIN and have become slaves to righteousness” (Romans 6:16,18).
“The wages of SIN is death, but the gift of God is eternal life…” (Romans 6:23).
For Paul, SIN (singular) was the broken relationship—the condition of being cut off from God—that then produced sins (plural), the actions that flow out of that separation. Addiction is a vivid example: the root is alienation, the fruit is the cycle of behaviors.
But here’s the gospel: Jesus doesn’t just forgive sins (the actions).
He breaks the power of SIN (the master).
He cancels the debt (Colossians 2:14) and sets us free to belong to Him (Romans 8:1–2).
“God is our refuge and strength…” (Psalm 46:1).
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever…” (Hebrews 13:8).
“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36).
When we surrender ourselves to Him, we discover a stability that doesn’t fade and a faithfulness that never fails.
Reflection
What “stable relationship” have you surrendered to that leaves you enslaved?
What would it look like to let Christ break the power of SIN at the root—not just clean up the symptoms?
Practical Step: A Small Act of Surrender
Name the “stable” thing you run to.
Write it down honestly.Identify the promise it makes you.
Numbing? Control? Escape? Comfort?Replace the lie with truth.
Speak Psalm 46:1, Hebrews 13:8, or John 8:36 aloud.Make one small, concrete surrender today.
A pause, a prayer, a boundary, a step outside—
choosing Presence over patterns.
Small surrenders, repeated faithfully, build a new stability rooted in Christ.
Prayer
Lord, I confess I’ve mistaken numbing for healing. I’ve given myself over to SIN’s false promises. Thank You for breaking its power, canceling my debt, and setting me free. Teach me to surrender only to You—the One whose stability and love never fail.
In Jesus’ Name, Amén.
